Nothing ever comes back again

Dear life..

How thankful to you I am

That you have given me such bright canvas to live in..

I could have been a bird- a tiger  a plant or an ant

But thank you so much for making me a human

As human

I crawled, took baby steps and toddled my way as a baby,

walked, slipped, fell and ran as  a child,

 jumped, swam and trotted as an adolescent,

flew as a teenager

And now as an adult

I take meaningful deliberate and purposeful steps…

I can feel the gravity below my feet

Strangely- I realized the value of gravity only as an adult !

All those years as a child, my parents were my gravity

They were my solar system

 When I was growing up to be an adolescent

I began to break away from the pull-

I lost my bearings-

Suddenly I was in space- allowed every element to pull me

Friends..movies..fun..games

Pulled me in all directions..

I swayed and swam –never finding a shore-

I got the signals from parents and teachers- cautioning me

But I disconnected the radar

Cause I thought they were intruders from another planet

My universe was different

Their rhetoric was inconvenient

– don’t waste time-is all they would say

I could never fathom-

there are so many hours and days

and months and years in life..

so what is there to waste ?

I lived in the myth that time is forever

And that ..what mattered most was the present-

I didn’t know what was future tense- or past tense

It was all present tense- I could not see beyond the next minute

When my friend befriended another classmate- 
it felt like my world crashed

When I was barred from watching TV- 
I felt betrayed by my own parents

Books felt tasteless- exams felt bitter

Results like bullets

And parents were like machine guns

Advice sounded like bells from hell

Heavenly relief came through calls from friends

Wanted to migrate to another planet

where there is no gravitational pull from parents or from mundane things in life- like studies !

I dwelled in a planet without gravity

Dear life…

Today as I stand on my two feet- feeling the magic of gravity- and enjoying the beauty of life-

I am no longer in that myth-that time is forever

I am already living in that future tense 
which confused me years ago

My past tense is my childhood now

And in my present tense I see the canvas of life

I am content with the colours in my life sketch

I have no regrets and no guilt    -
But I wish it was more vibrant

I wish in the past tense of my life-

I read more, I studied more, and used my mind more..

I wish I was less emotional about my friendships and more connected to myself

I wish I laughed as much with my parents as I did with my friends

I wish I watched those sparrows more 
and tracked the butterfly’s  route

But one thing I am sure…
I am not wishing to be a child once again

But I only wish I knew the value of time then

I only wish I knew who I was then

What my eyes could see, what my heart could feel,
what my mind could think, what my hands could do…

What I am capable of !

I just got carried away- never tried to explore myself-

It was always somebody-something-somewhere

You dear life- make every stage worth its while

I don’t believe in that clichéd statement-
childhood will not come back again- 
In fact nothing comes back again..

Neither this adulthood, nor that infancy-  
not even that old age will come back again

Each stage is to be lived with due respect to life

As I am getting more experienced with life

One thing I realize - 
As a child we cannot live the life of an adult

As an adult we cannot live the life of a child

My grandmother said once— 
I know that I can never be young again

But there is one thing  we can do irrespective of what stage
we are living in..child  teenager or adult

We can be connected to ourselves 
and then try to connect to the world

We can be happy with ourselves- 
then the entire world seems to be happy with us

Dear life  - 

You have given us colours -   A canvas

And if are clear about what we want -  
We can pick up the right brushes

Mix the right shades 

 and 

Our life can be the best painting ever done

Dear life thank you once again for showing me

the beauty of life as a baby

as a child

as an adolescent

and as an adult

And most of all for
helping me see the value of gravity as never before